I don't like arguments

I suck at arguing, and try to avoid them at all costs.

My tongue is all tied together if a person starts to challenge me verbally.

That particular person is usually my husband who brings up challenging questions to me which I have only answers hours later (yes I'm that slow). So, the scenario is usually like this: he's not happy about a certain thing I've just said/done, and he starts to attack me verbally. I'd just sit there and swallow all his shit without firing back.

And then, when he's done, I'd go to somewhere without his presence. For how long? Depends on how angry he is.

(Oh yes he's usually the angry one, not me.)

And then a cold war begins because I wouldn't want to go back to him and try to explain why I've done/said that certain thing. BECAUSE, I KNOW, whatever I start to explain only creates more arguments, I know from my sixth sense that if I even start to utter a word, his coldness will make me want to just hold back everything I want to say.

This is not healthy, I know.

So, you might want to ask, how are our arguments resolved?

It'd be him who gets back to me and explains again why he was angry, and I'd try to defend myself even just a little. But, let me tell you this honestly, after each argument, I certainly loathe him more. Because I'm not convinced by his theories and I hate that he gets pissed off so easily.

Now that we have a daughter of two years old, I'm starting to avoid arguments more. I'd rather just let him vent and vent and let it all out and ignore him and go to sleep. Because the more he does this, the less I care. And I'm not even afraid whether he'd fall in love with another woman because NO OTHER WOMAN on earth can endure his temper like I do.

For him, he prefers that I get angry like he does and fire back at him. At least he doesn't have to guess what I'm thinking after he does all the venting. But guess what? I'm just not a fan of arguing because I think it's stupid at the first place. So, I will never play your game.

He's such a bitch.

First or last post?

I'm terrible in blogging.

That being said, it means I can't make a blog last. I've started a few different blogs for 10 years and I've deleted all of them.

What makes me want to start again? Probably because of my family.

I have an awesome family and I want to be able to remember every bit of it decades later.

I will start telling friends about the existence of this blog so that I won't delete it after just a few posts.

I will write about my happiness, excitement, frustration, anger...whatever, and I won't in any sense censor myself.

I hope I'm ready this time!